THE PLEASURE AND JOY OF FORGIVING

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.
© God’s Breath Publications

 

Everyday we have situations that put us in the position of having the opportunity to forgive someone. It may be that someone cuts us off in traffic. Maybe it’s some inappropriate words spoken to us. It could also be actions or behavior by someone close to us that hurt us deeply. Whatever the situation or circumstance these are precious moments in our lives where we have the choice to forgive or hold onto the hurt and anger we have.

 

There are many passages in scripture that speak of the forgiveness God is so willing to bestow upon those who sin against Him. Here are just a few.

 

1 John 1:9-10
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

 

Hebrews 8:12
“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

 

In Colossians 3:13-14 we are given the motivation for why we should forgive those that hurt us and cause us pain, discomfort or emotional wounds.

 

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

 

We forgive others because God forgave us. How can we fail to forgive others when God forgave us for so much? Possibly we have a hard time forgiving because we don’t realize the depth and full meaning of the forgiveness that God grants us. God is so pure and holy that a single small sin is not tolerable by Him. Multiply this by all the sins we commit every day and you begin to realize the depth and breadth of how deep our sins are and the magnitude of the forgiveness that God grants us when we confess to Him.

 

Another concept that God recently laid on my heart is that it brings Him great pleasure and joy when He forgives us. Think of what it means for God to forgive. It is the intense desire of God’s heart to have a relationship with us. He is constantly seeking us, wanting to be a part of our lives, wishing to be spoken to in prayer and wanting to help us in any way possible. When we sin against our Heavenly Father our relationship with Him suffers. Imagine the joy it brings Him to grant forgiveness to any one of us so fellowship can be restored. It brings God pleasure to restore our relationship with Him but it also relieves the guilt in us that is caused by our sin.

 

I believe it is important to God for us to forgive those who hurt us for several reasons. First because God knows it releases the bitterness, resentment and suppressed anger that can grow in us if we resist forgiving. Secondly because He knows if we do it with the help of His Spirit, in love and in obedience it will bring us great pleasure and joy. If God’s love abides in us we will take pleasure and joy in forgiving because we will see the relief in others as the burden of guilt for the pain they have inflicted upon us is lifted from their heart, mind and soul. We also will feel the relief of letting the hurt go and experiencing healing of the pain through the ministry of forgiving others.

 

In 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 there is an account of someone who has sinned against a local Christian fellowship. This church has had to discipline him and Paul is instructing the Christians at this church that the discipline was sufficient and now they should forgive this person so that the burden of his sin against him does not overwhelm him. It states, “If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent — not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven — if there was anything to forgive — I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

 

This is another reason for forgiveness. We do not want to overwhelm such a person with the discipline or our failure to forgive. Imagine if God were to withhold forgiveness from you. How would you feel? Not very good I would say. I believe if we fail to forgive those who hurt us, we will experience the opposite of pleasure and joy. When we withhold forgiveness we create in our heart a desire for revenge on our terms. We begin to cook and simmer the destructive emotions, thoughts and desires that are produced from the poisonous byproducts of withholding forgiveness. These corrosive emotions begin to eat away at our heart and mind like a cancer.

 

Failure to forgive can do more damage to us than the original sin against us. The internal damage caused by failing to forgive is much more insidious. Satan knows this. That why in this passage in 2 Corinthians it mentions the schemes of Satan. He would like nothing better than for us to fail to forgive others. He knows that if we refuse to forgive then not only will it create great sorrow in those that wound us when they desire to be forgiven; it will also destroy us from the inside out. He knows that if we fail to forgive, His task of oppressing us and putting us out of action as a child of God is made that much easier.

 

But what if those would hurt us with their words or actions aren’t sorry for their actions? What if they have no remorse or willingness to repent?

 

I believe the answer lies in two scripture verses. First in Matthew 18:21-22 we see a situation where Peter wishes to impress Jesus with his willingness to forgive. The rule among Jews was that it was commendable to forgive others three times. To impress Jesus, Peter doubles this and adds one for good measure. The passage says, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’” Jesus’ answer shows the standard of how willing we are to forgive others. Jesus says, “‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” Jesus wasn’t setting a limit on how many times we are to forgive someone. He was stating a guideline that we are always to forgive over and above any human inclination. That is what God does and that is what he expects from us. Forgiveness is a trait of those who are born-again. If you are filled with the Spirit and willing to obey God’s Holy Scripture you will seek to forgive whenever you can.

 

The other verse I believe that gives us some instruction on the magnitude with which we forgive is in Luke 23:34, it says, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” This comment by Jesus was made to His Heavenly Father when men were crucifying Him. Were His crucifiers repentant of what they were doing? No. Were they sorry for causing such pain and torture upon Him? No. Did they actually take pleasure in inflicting pain upon Him physically and emotionally? Yes. But even though these horrible cruel individuals had no remorse at the time, Jesus was asking His Father to forgive them. I believe this is yet another example for us to follow. Jesus loves all men and women and knows there is pleasure and joy in forgiveness whether or not those who inflict pain are repentant. But there are several critical points I need to make at this time.

 

First, when it comes to salvation and eternal life, God does not grant universal forgiveness to everyone. He must be perfect in His justice when it comes to who will dwell with Him in Heaven for eternity. That is not our situation when we are called to forgive someone when they hurt us even when they are unrepentant. We need to leave the delivery of justice up to God many times.

 

Secondly, we are not to be a doormat for people to inflict pain upon. God does not intend for us to allow people to mistreat us. In the case of spousal abuse we may need to remove ourselves for our own protection. In the case of verbal abuse or sexual harassment at work, we are to pursue channels to protect ourselves. We still forgive in such cases but also act responsibly so we are protected. We need to seek to forgive, resolve issues with others in a Godly manner that preserves relationships and fosters an environment of forgiveness.

 

There is pleasure and joy when we forgive others. God gives us the courage and strength to do this in the midst of horribly painful times if we seek His Spirit and are close to Him. It is amazing how enjoyable forgiveness can be. There is release from the pain and hurt. There is an increase in love in our heart for God and others when we forgive those that hurt us.

 

Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-8;

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”