By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© God’s Breath Publications

 

In this series so far we have learned that Peter wrote this letter to followers of Christ who were scattered in the area of Asia Minor, what is now modern-day Turkey. His main emphasis in this letter was to remind Christians of the hope they have in God because of the gracious salvation provided for them in Jesus Christ as well as how the gift of the Holy Spirit within them works to lead them in sanctification. We continue now to learn even more about this wonderful salvation that God blesses His children with and how we are to live as Christ and love one another. Part of loving one another in Christ is learning how to submit to each other in the Lord. Peter in the next few verses covers several more examples where submission is necessary and displays before others, a Christ-like character and behavior.

 

Peter now addresses other relationships that require submission. Followers of Christ who are married must display Christ-like qualities in the bond of marriage. Christ’s love for His church is reflected in the “agape” love that is to be shown between a husband and wife. The sinful pagan culture of the time was rampant with sexual promiscuity, degradation of women and unfaithfulness on the part of both men and women. Followers of Christ were presented with an opportunity to not only be a witness for Christ as individuals, but also as godly couples. This has significant importance to us today. Our modern society is similar to the time when Peter wrote his letter. Unfortunately the Christian divorce rate today is very similar to that of non-believers which is a reflection of the lack of spiritual dedication in one or both of the spouses. Here Peter covers submission in the family and begins with the husband and wife.

 

1 Peter 3:1-2

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

 

Peter here in the opening verses of chapter 3 instructs wives to be submissive to their husbands. The phrase, “in the same way” is reflective of Christ’s example of submissiveness to His Father in Heaven as described in the last verses of chapter 2. The Greek word for “submissive” here is “hypotasso” and it means to subject oneself voluntarily to another, with the implication of following the other’s lead in obedience. While this could cause great concern for some wives who have an abusive and unloving husband, God can give wisdom to wives in such situations in how to be submissive without being a doormat or putting themselves at risk of physical or emotional abuse. Peter goes on to describe the loving godly way that women can demonstrate Christ in their lives to their husbands. Wives can, by their attitude and behavior, draw their unbelieving husbands to a relationship with Christ. Wives can also encourage their believing husbands in their faith by their behavior as well. That is the beautiful ministry that wives have with their husbands. God uses them to be an example of Christ whether their husbands are followers of Christ or not. The phrase “if any of them do not believe the word” describes a non-believing husband, but it could also be in reference to a believing husband who is not obeying the word. It is interesting that Peter suggests that wives can be a witness “without words.” Often we assume that a witness must include conversation and/or confrontation, but Peter is suggesting here that a godly example in ones life speaks louder than a thousand spoken words. He may also be suggesting that a submissive respectful wife may have more godly influence with her husband by her Christ-like lifestyle than with critical words of confrontation. Peter is encouraging wives to analyze their actions and understand that their pure and reverent lives can have great impact on their husbands as they observe their wives. An honest husband will often confess that their wives have a great influence over their spiritual development. Next Peter gives some instruction on how women can be most attractive in a godly fashion to their Heavenly Father and their husbands.

 

1 Peter 3:3-6

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”

 

First Peter addresses women’s adornment. Believe it or not, the Greek word for “adornment” is “kosmos,” from which we get the term “cosmetics.” “Kosmos” refers to anything used to beautify or decorate. It is the same word used in Luke 21:5 to describe how the temple in Jerusalem was adorned with beautiful precious stones. It is also used in Acts 17:24 to describe the physical ordered world of God’s beautiful creation. Peter is not implying that women should not or cannot wear jewelry and makeup or have their hair done. He is simply stating that they should focus their priorities on their inner beauty as it relates to spiritual attributes, attitude, behavior and actions. Women who substitute an emphasis on their external appearance for a lack of cultivating their internal character are choosing an inappropriate way to portray themselves in the eyes of God.

 

Next Peter addresses the attitude of women. He states that a godly woman will be concerned that she reflects an inner spiritual character patterned after Christ. There is an attractive and pleasant appeal of a woman who is demonstrating that her deep inner self is one of a gentle and quiet spirit. Such inner traits have a beauty to them that never fades and only grows more beautiful because it reflects the Holy Spirit who resides within them. In God’s eyes such beauty is very precious and commendable. Such inner godly traits are manifested in the life of a woman in her outward behavior and attitude. Peter in verses 3 and 4 is contrasting the inner and outward beauty that a Christian woman can possess and reflect in her life. When there is balance in this area she can be a great witness not only to her husband, but other women and anyone she meets. While anyone can spend a few hours getting decked out on the outside, it takes a lifetime to foster a godly character molded by submission to God and patterning ones thought life and heart after that of Jesus Christ.

 

Peter next focuses on the attention of women and references the godly women of the Old Testament who lived lives of commitment to God, were spiritually wise in matters of beauty and were submissive to their Heavenly Father and their husbands. Their attention was directed towards how to please God by being submissive to their husbands. They had their hope in God and this motivated them to godly actions and attitudes. Peter continues to make the connection between holiness and hope. We are to seek to be holy as we are motivated in our hope in God. If we don’t have a strong hope in God we are unable to be holy in many of life’s situations. He mentions Abraham’s wife, Sarah, as a good example. Sarah was submissive to Abraham when he was instructed by God to move from the land he knew as home. In this instance, Sarah obediently followed Abraham because she was submissive to him and the Lord. It must have been difficult to be submissive in such a situation, to leave familiarity, security and an established home to travel to a far distant land (Genesis 12:1-5). But Sarah respected Abraham and obeyed God. Abraham also convinced Sarah to pretend to be his sister while in Egypt and the Pharaoh temporarily took Sarah as his wife (Genesis 12:10-20)! We see that while this decision by Abraham may have saved his life for the moment, it was not a godly decision. God had to step in to rectify the matter with a plague on Pharaoh. But Sarah could not be blamed for Abraham’s decision. She had been submissive and obedient. Sarah also did not contest Abraham’s decision to give his nephew Lot the best grazing land (Genesis 13:1-11). Abraham also attempted to pass Sarah off a second time as his sister and this caught the attention of Abimelech who wanted Sarah as his wife (Genesis 20:1-19)! Again, God had to intervene because of Abraham’s fear and poor decision making. Again, Sarah did her part by obeying and being submissive to her husband’s wishes. Sarah also had to deal with the near sacrifice of Isaac on the altar because Abraham said that God had told him to do so (Genesis 22:1-19). It takes a strong godly committed woman to be submissive in such a situation. Peter is using Sarah as an good example of a godly wife who was obedient and submissive to God and her husband.

 

Wives should ask themselves if they are following the example of Sarah and remaining submissive to their husbands. Are they praying for them, looking for ways to honor them or are they making life more difficult and unbearable for them? Peter calls women of God, daughters of Sarah, and they are to pattern their lives after her by doing right and not giving fear a stronghold in their life. Now Peter shifts his spiritual focus to husbands and addresses three areas they need to seek to be godly in relation to their wives.

1 Peter 3:7

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

 

Peter again uses the phrase, “in the same way” and in this, as with wives, he is instructing husbands to view how Christ set an example for respect and submissiveness because His hope was in His Heavenly Father. It is this same hope in God that husbands will focus on to motive themselves to treat their wives in a godly loving manner. First Peter states that husbands are to “live with your wives.” This may seem a simple command, but it has deeper meaning. It means dwelling together in a deep and close relationship. Husbands are not just to “put up with,” “endure,” or “survive” with their wives. They are to live intimately with their wives in all areas, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. They are to be considerate of their needs, thoughts, desires and emotions. Peter next instructs husbands to “respect” their wives or as some translations state, “know” them. The Greek language implies that husbands are to live with their wives “according to knowledge.” Husbands must know and respect their wives by seeking to understand their inner desires, personal needs and their unspoken concerns and worries. A man can be a great influence on his wife by living out the hope he has in God for all things. This is a moment-by-moment knowing of one’s wife. Peter’s description of a wife as “the weaker vessel” is not meant to demean them. It reflects a description of something rare and precious to be treated as very valuable, something to be respected as rare and beautiful. While men usually are physically stronger than women, they are not to use their strength to abuse or intimidate their wives, but to love, protect and provide for them. Peter also mentions that husbands are to honor their wives as co-heirs of eternal life and partners in the marriage. Husbands can honor their wives by giving them a central place in their lives, thoughts and actions. While Christ should sit on the throne of the life of the husband, the next person in line should be his wife. She deserves this position, not because she is weaker, but because she is His marriage partner and shares spiritually in the eternal life they both possess in Christ.

 

Finally Peter shares an important point for the husband, building a solid godly foundation in the marriage through his commitment to God and his wife. The passage states, “so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” When the close bond of a husband and wife is fractured and distance is put between them, their spiritual lives will be off track. 1 John 4:20 tells us that if we have issues with our fellow believer our relationship with God will be deficient. Ephesians 5:31-32 illustrates how close the marriage bond is and tells us that the husband is to love his wife as he loves himself. Ephesians 5:25 also states that husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. This is a high calling and is necessary if a husband’s prayers are to be heard by God. When we do not love and respect our wives, our relationship with God will suffer. Peter encourages us in his letter to live in love and submission to one another as husbands and wives. We do this by obeying the Word and hoping in God.