“I” BEFORE “E” EXCEPT AFTER “A”

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© God’s Breath Publications

 

We all know the rule we learned in our elementary school spelling class about where to place an “I” in relationship to an e in a word, “I before E except after C.” But I heard a sermon once by a pastor who spoke of the spiritual rule of thumb related to the issue of lust and sexual temptation. He stated, “I before E except after A.” Confused, I listened further to see if he would explain this similar sounding but different rule of life.

 

He explained that “I” stood for intellect and “E” for emotions when dealing with sexual desires. When faced with a sexual temptation, our intellect will rule over our emotions as long as we allow it to. He implied that if we have been transformed by God’s word and listened to the guidance of the Holy Spirit our intellect would rule over our emotions. BUT, if we are not listening to the Holy Spirit and seeking to live by God’s word, the rest of the rule can come into effect. “Intellect” before “Emotions” except after “A.” “A” stands for arousal.

 

 

While our Spirit led intellect will rule over our emotions generally, if we allow sexual arousal to take place, our intellect can fly out the window and our fleshly emotions can take over. The saying “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” probably reflects what happens in such a situation. Sexual arousal flips a switch, turns on the fire under the boiler of emotions and the heat of the desires of the flesh begin to bubble and boil. While we may have been obedient Christians and observed Romans 12:1‑2 where it instructs us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices and to be transformed by the renewing of mind, when we allow arousal to develop we run the risk of stumbling in the area of lust. Obeying God’s word, praying and listening to the Spirit can provide the foundation for spiritual growth and maturity. We gain experience and mature in our faith as we continue to live according to our calling as Christians. When we are led by the Spirit and grounded in God’s word it is harder for arousal to raise its head in an inappropriate situation. Arousal actually has its birth within us. While external circumstances and temptations (the world and the Devil), can encourage arousal, we must not forget that it is the flesh that also plays a dramatic role in leading us into sin. Sin is not so much an act, but an attitude that originates from our heart. Pastor Alistair Begg states, “Sin is not a deed, it is a condition. It’s a state of being. It’s a mentality. It’s an approach to things. But it expresses itself in a variety of different ways.”

 

Arousal can enter the life of any Christian man or woman. You might call it the line of decision, the boundary that marks the possibility of sin. When someone of the opposite sex inappropriately arouses us sexually we have a choice. We can seek God, pray for the Spirit’s guidance and refuse to flee after it, or we can give in, seek the arousal and bath ourselves in the flames of sinful desires. If we fall into the temptation of lust; we have quenched the Spirit and chosen to pursue our fleshly desires when we allow ourselves to become aroused sexually by anyone other than our spouse. The same applies to single individuals because if we are single we are called to not fall into sin by lusting after people of the opposite sex. We are to remain pure in thoughts and actions. As singles we must understand we are to be chaste and pure until we are married or choose to remain single as a Disciple of Christ.

 

Sexual arousal was created by God and given to us for the pure and holy purposes of sexual fulfillment within the marriage of a man and a woman. The problem is when we allow arousal to take place in our minds and hearts outside of marriage we violate God’s purposes. Once our flesh and our carnal desires, are aroused, we can begin to ignore what our mind has learned regarding our call to holiness. If steps are not taken, a battle ensues between our new spiritual life and our old fleshly condition.

 

 

Proverbs 6 warns of the arousal that can take place for a man when he views an attractive woman. Appreciating God’s creation is one thing; allowing arousal to take place is another. Proverbs describes with detail what can happen when we allow sexual arousal to take place outside of marriage. Ephesians 4:17‑19 illustrates for us that arousal of this sort is never satisfied. It’s appetite for additional arousal expands exponentially devouring your very soul. In verse 19 it states, “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.”

 

Sexual arousal kills the intellect, causes you to become deaf to the voice of the Holy Spirit, feeds your emotions, leads to sin within your heart and can potentially lead to taking action on your internal sinful desires. Since men are very visually motivated creatures we are especially prone to allowing arousal to overwhelm us. You need only take a look at our society to see how well Satan works through it to attempt to arouse the sexual desires of men. All varieties of advertisements from deodorant soap to trucks uses sexual innuendoes to attempt to arouse the emotions for sexual fulfillment within a man. Pornography of all versions and varieties is a rapidly growing industry because of the rule, “I before E except after A.” Those who produce and market pornography are very aware that if they can capture the attention of their intended consumer, arousal will take place and they can easily become addicted. Very similar to drug addiction, pornography feeds the flesh through sexual arousal and distorts reality for the addict.

 

 

While men have to deal with their visual stimuli, women have their own arousal problems. Women have the need to be loved and cared for. They desire security. A man demonstrating sensitivity to them can cause arousal in a woman especially if other appropriate male figures in their life have failed to show love and care for them. Women often allow their emotions to rule their judgments and intellect when a man who treats them respectfully arouses them. Society, influenced by the flesh and Satan, inundates our media with romance novels and soap operas. These pseudo‑realty forms of life distort expectations and encourage improper arousal within women. Women are also tempted visually and there is a rapidly growing pornography market for them as well which seeks to stimulate arousal and feed fleshly desires.

 

Many times the workplace can be a potential distraction from holy living for a man or woman if steps are not taken to prevent arousal. Working around others of the opposite sex for 7‑8 hours a day can provide opportunities for inappropriate relationships to form. Individuals must set internal boundaries and external standards of behavior must be observed or arousal can take place. Our thought life is a precarious thing to deal with. The old saying “We can’t keep birds from flying over our head, but we can keep them from nesting in our hair.” applies. We can’t control often whom we work with, how they dress or how they behave, but we can control how we respond, what we think about and how we behave. God has given us the Holy Spirit as Christians for many purposes and one is to convict us of potential sin and another is to guide us in decisions we make. The Holy Spirit desires to conform us to the image of Christ and if we allow Him to do His work, inappropriate sexual arousal can be avoided and/or controlled. Fostering appropriate relationships with the opposite sex is possible, but great caution and care must be taken. Unmarried Christians must seek to remain committed to Christ and holy until they make a commitment to a spouse. Married Christians must work hard at building intimacy with their mate so that any sexual arousal is directed towards each other and not other individuals.

 

 

Sexual arousal can be an especially difficult problem for young people. Hormones rage out of control at times. The desire to experiment and experience new feelings pull strong at the heart, mind and soul of teen and college age young people. 2 Timothy 2:22 focuses on this when it commands, “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”  Boundaries are especially important in these young lives. Parents and adult counselors are crucial in helping young individuals lay down ground rules for preventing arousal to destroy their lives. Young people must set standards before situations arise so that proper Godly behavior can be expressed, bringing glory to our Lord and Master.

 

Romans 7:21‑24 describes the struggle we face in our Christian lives as we seek to allow the Holy Spirit to conform us to the image of Christ, “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” It sounds hopeless and very frustrating in the words of Paul, but he answers his own question when he ends in verse 25 with the following statement, “Thanks be to God‑through Jesus Christ our Lord!” That is the answer, to let Jesus Christ our LORD, minister to us in the times we face the possibility of inappropriate sexual arousal. If we really and truly have committed our lives to Christ we will choose obedience to Jesus over obedience to our flesh.

 

1 Corinthians 6:18‑20

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”