HOLDING A GRUDGE

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© Gods Breath Publications

 

Steve boiled with anger. Bob was difficult to get along with. He was rude and egotistical. The other day Bob had made fun of him in front of the boss and it was very embarrassing. His boss had laughed until he was red in the face. Bob just soaked up the attention and Steve retreated to his office to sulk.

 

Mary, Steve’s secretary, comes into his office.

 

“Steve, Bill from Sordan Insurance is on the line. He has that quote for you.”

 

“Thanks.” Steve replied with a frown on his face.

 

“Something wrong?” asked Mary.

 

“Oh its nothing. Bob just got to me yesterday and I’m still mad about it.”

 

“Well don’t hold a grudge. It’s not healthy.”

 

“I know. I know. He just irritates me to high heaven.”

 

“Steve, I know you’re a Christian and I’m sure you know what you need to do about those feelings.”

 

“Yeah, I’m working on it.”

 

Mary leaves the room and Steve contemplated his inability to let loose of the grudge he had against Bob. What to do? What to do?

 

When the day is over Steve leaves work and continues to mull over his grudge against Bob in his heart and mind. The thick traffic on the way home doesn’t help his attitude. He eats supper. Watches a little television and then gets ready for bed. As he hits the sheets and closes his eyes, the only thing he can think of is that look of triumph on Bob’s face when he had told that horrible joke about him. His grudge against Bob also gave birth to another grudge against his boss for laughing at the joke. Steve drifts off into a restless disturbing sleep and begins to dream.

 

Steve finds himself walking down a street in a city he doesn’t recognize. He feels a heavy weight on his back and notices that he’s wearing a backpack. He can’t imagine why he’s wearing this heavy pack, so tries to remove it. No matter what he does, he can’t get the backpack off. As he continues to walk down the street he notices other people carrying bags, sacks and packs as they travel to wherever they are going. Many of the people seem to greatly burdened by their loads.

 

Steve walks up to a man carrying a huge sack slung over one shoulder. There is sweat pouring down his red face and he’s bent over under his load.

 

“Can you tell me the name of this town?” Steve asks.

 

“WHAT!”

 

“I said. Can you tell me the name of this town?”

 

“WHO CARES? ALL I CAN SAY IS I HATE MY WIFE AND WHAT SHE DID TO ME. INGRATEFUL SHE-DEVIL SHE WAS!”

 

“Sorry to bother you.”

 

Steve continues walking and risks asking another person the name of the town. He walks up to a young woman carrying a small sack, hoping that she will be more responsive.

 

“Sorry to bother you can you tell me the name of this town?”

 

“It doesn’t really matter does it? All that matters is that Margaret offended me and I won’t ever forgive her.”

 

“Who’s Margaret?”

 

“Why do you care? I’m the one carrying the grudge. See.”

 

The woman opens the small sack she’s carrying. Steve looks inside and sees the most gruesome looking mess he’s ever seen. Then a fragrance floats up into Steve’s nostrils. It makes him feel intensely nauseous.

 

“That’s horrible!”

 

“Yes it is isn’t it? You see how much she hurt me. I just won’t ever let go of the anger I have for how she treated me. NEVER, EVER, will I forgive her. I’ll carry this grudge until the day I die.”

 

The woman walks off with her nose stuck high in the air and a grimace on her face. Steve ponders what she said and what he saw. What is this place he wonders?

 

Steve continues walking. The pack on his back is digging into his shoulder blades. He tries to adjust it but gets no relief. Steve notices a very old man lying in the street. Beside the elderly man is a large bag, almost as big as the man himself. Steve notices the man’s hands are all gnarled and deformed. They are tightly grasping the top of the large bag beside him. Steve bends down to see if he can be of any help.

 

“Sir. Can I help you?”

 

“I HATE him. I HATE him.” Replies the old man.

 

“Sir. Who do you hate?”

 

“I HATE him. I HATE my brother.”

 

“It’s not good to hate your brother. Why don’t you forgive him and let bygones be bygones?”

 

“He’s been dead for forty years. I made a commitment to never forgive and I never will. LEAVE ME ALONE!”

 

Steve gives up trying to assist the old man and continues walking. He comes to the edge of town and notices a sign by the road. It looks like a sign identifying the town he had just left. He gazes as the large hand carved sign. It says “GRIEVANCE.”

 

Then Steve notices a man walking down a crossroad. He is not carrying any, sack or burden of any sort.

 

“Hey. Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Do you live in Grievance?”

 

“I used to, but not anymore. I’ve been to the hill and now I’m free from carrying a grudge and having to live in Grievance.”

 

“Carrying a grudge?”

 

“Yeah. Like the one you’re carrying.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“That backpack you’re carrying. It’s a grudge you’re carrying against someone. Are you headed for the hill?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well at the hill you can leave all your grudges and forgive the people you have the grudges against.”

 

“How do I get to this hill?”

 

“It’s right up the road there.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Steve begins walking up the road. He passes by a few people who are headed in the same direction. Some have large sacks tied to their backs and some have tiny sacks held in their hands. All apparently, like him, are carrying grudges. Some people are returning from their journey and have no sacks, bags or packs and have pleasant smiles on their faces. They all look like a huge burden had been lifted from their lives.

 

Steve gradually comes over the rise of the hill and notices, in the midst of a beautiful green meadow, a huge wooden cross. At the base of the cross are all sorts of bags, sacks and packs. People are walking up to the cross, burdened with grudges, but as they drop them at the foot of the cross they rise up refreshed with tears of joy falling down their cheeks.

 

Steve all of a sudden wakes from his strange dream. He doesn’t waste any time. He gets out of bed, gets on his knees and gives up his grudge against Bob and his boss to his Lord and Savior. He forgives them. He then asks for forgiveness for his sin.

 

How about you?

 

Do you live in the town of “Grievance?”

 

Will you continue to carry your grudge to the grave?

 

Matthew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

 

Mark 11:26

“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”

 

Luke 6:36-38

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure — pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

 

Ephesians 4:31-32

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

 

Colossians 3:12-14

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”