Weathering the Storms of Life A Six-Part Series

Part Four

 

Stabilizing Your Life with Godly Counsel

and Loving Support

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© God’s Breath Publications

 

“For if we be harassed by poverty, or saddened by bereavement, or disquieted by bodily pain, or pining in exile, or vexed by any kind of calamity, let good men visit us, men who can not only rejoice with them that rejoice, but also weep with them that weep, and who know how to give profitable counsel and win us to express our feelings in conversation: the effect is that rough things become smooth, heavy burdens are lightened, and difficulties vanquished most wonderfully.”

Augustine

 

The United States Marines have a motto: “No man left behind.” As Christians we should have a similar motto: “No Christian left behind.” A Marine will risk his or her life to save another marine. They will do whatever it takes as an individual or a group to rescue their fellow soldier. Our Heavenly Father calls us to the same type of commitment when it comes to other Christians. His Word tells us to love other Believers because He expects us to love each other as He loves us.

 

John 15:17

“This is my command: Love each other.”

 

Romans 12:10

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

 

1 John 3:18

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

 

1 John 4:11

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

 

One of the best things we can do as we face a tough storm of life is to surround ourselves with quality counselors and advisors. Our Christian Brothers and Sisters can provide the support we need to make it through a difficult trial or struggle. There is safety and strength in numbers and the church where we fellowship can be a wealth of support in our time of need.

 

Support from other Christians is provided in two main ways. First, other Believers can provide wise counsel for those difficult decisions we must make in a storm and they can provide a deeper understanding of how to cope with the trauma we experience. A storm of life can decimate our finances, wreak havoc on our health, tear apart our emotions and play games with our mental condition. We need stable, loving and wise Christians to gather around us to help us in our time of need.

 

Scripture is full of passages that speak of listening to wise counsel so that we can survive the hardships of life.

 

Proverbs 15:22

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

 

Proverbs 12:15

“A wise man listens to advice.”

 

Proverbs 13:10

“Wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

 

Proverbs 19:20

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”

 

Proverbs 20:18

“Make plans by seeking advice;”

 

Secondly the love, compassion and encouragement we receive from our fellow Christians can sustain us when we are so vulnerable. There’s a story of a mother who was putting her young daughter to bed one night. The little girl was very afraid of the dark so the mother assured her that God was everywhere and that He would watch over her so she had no need to be afraid. The mother prayed with her, turned out the light and went into the living room. Within minutes the mother could hear the scared cries of the little girl so she went to assure her again of God’s presence. But the little girl wanted the mother to stay with her until she went to sleep. She said, “I feel like God is here when you are with me. It’s like God has skin on because He is inside you.” This young girl understood the importance of having the physical presence of someone by her side. She needed God with skin on, or in other words a servant of Jesus Christ who was willing to minister to her. It’s been said, “You may be the only Jesus some people ever meet.” This is so true. If we really are servants of Christ, He will be seen and experienced as we minister to others in their time of need. The love of God flows through us as we seek to serve others and offer loving support to them in the midst of a devastating storm of life. This is why counselors are important in our storm. They are God with skin on as they love and minister to us.

 

But there are sometimes when Christians can fail at supporting those in need. Philip Yancey shares in his book, “Where is God When It Hurts” the story of a young woman with Hodgkin’s disease. She was under radiation treatment to curb the growth of the cancer. Such treatments are destructive not only to cancerous tissue but also healthy tissue. The goal is to kill the cancer before you kill the patient. Needless to say she was losing her hair and her body was aging quickly due to the trauma of the treatments. Unfortunately those Christians who came by her side to minister stumbled in their attempt to give her encouragement. A Deacon asked if she had stepped out of God’s will which would explain why she was suffering. He suggested if she could discover what God was trying to teach her that she would recover. Another woman visitor attempted to encourage her with beautiful songs, poems and flowers, but never wanted to hear about the pain and torment she was going through. This made the young woman frustrated because it made her feel that the woman was turning a deaf ear to her need for sympathy and compassion. A faith healer visited and told her if she would just muster up enough faith God would heal her, but the young woman only felt more depressed because no matter how much she tried to trust God for healing nothing changed. Yet another visitor challenged her to rejoice in her suffering and that she could bring glory to God by rejoicing in her affliction. Finally a pastor visited, but threw yet another gauntlet down by telling her that her witness in overcoming her hardship would serve to build up the faith in other Christians. While there are scriptures to back up every one of these perspectives of ministering to those in trials, what this young woman needed most of all was love, compassion and empathy. If we look at the model of Jesus, the majority of times He ministered to those suffering afflictions, He did not challenge or convict with words, instead He showed love and compassion as He ministered to their needs. The young woman eventually was cured of her cancer despite the discouraging manner in which other Christians ministered to her.

 

We learn two things from Philip Yancey’s story. First, we need to be careful how we choose those that counsel and provide support to us during a storm we experience. While we may need to be challenged or convicted at times because we may have brought our storm upon ourselves due to our behavior, we need someone with wisdom to discern this. We do need to attempt to rejoice in our relationship with the Lord during a storm and be encouraged to think positively towards a good resolution as we have faith that God will work. But we need balance in the counsel we receive to be able to do this. We need encouraging and strengthening words, not challenging criticism. In a sense our Christian support can make or break us during a storm. I want to share with you just a few of the traits we might seek to find in wise compassionate counselors that are willing to stand with us during our storm of life. I would hope they would evidence compassion, empathy, sensitivity, an ability to be a good listener, Bible based, wise, prayerful, loving, insightful, forgiving, Spirit led, truthful, dedicated to the Lord, disciplined, gentle and possibly a survivor of a storm themselves. While we won’t find someone with all these traits, we should seek to find those that possess many of them as we ask them to minister to us and help hold us up as the storm of life we are experiencing beats away at our life.

 

A second thing we learn from Philip Yancey’s story is that if we are to be a good counselor or supporter of someone experiencing a storm, we need to be careful how we minister. The traits I mentioned above should come to our mind as we attempt to help others. Often it will be helpful if we remember what we needed most during a storm we experienced and how can we reach out to someone the same way in their storm. We also need to recognize that if we are not able, for whatever reason, to minister to someone that needs help, the least we can do is find someone for them who can step in our place. I would hope we would not step away from a ministry opportunity God is bringing into our lives, but if we feel we are overwhelmed and not capable of doing so, then we need to call in others to help minister to those in the storm.

 

Ephesians 4:2-3

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

 

Hebrews 10:24

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

 

1 Peter 1:22

“Have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.”

 

1 Peter 3:8

“Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”

 

1 John 3:18

“Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”